


i shall take the heart

by akingnotaprincess



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Bisexual Male Character, Double Life, Espionage, First Kiss, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Introspection, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Beta Read, Not Britpicked, POV Eleventh Doctor, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21548809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akingnotaprincess/pseuds/akingnotaprincess
Summary: The Doctor was a simple, yet eccentric book shop owner who so happened to work for UNIT. Then Jack Harkness, a Torchwood agent, walked into his shop and shook up his world.
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Jack Harkness
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27
Collections: Public Call - Doctor Who fic exchange 2019





	i shall take the heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [monkiainen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/gifts).

> "I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodsman; “for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world."  
\- The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum

The Doctor jumped over another row of  shrubbery, sticking the landing gracefully, and within a handful of strides he was over the next hedge. His heart was racing with adrenaline as he chased his target through the gardens of South London. By his count, so far he had kicked over three garden gnomes, lept over a dozen lawn chairs, and had successfully outrun seven dogs guarding their master's houses (including a rather formidable miniature poodle who was very close at nipping at his long tweed coat). Those things weren't  _ thrilling  _ per se, but they did make his job amusing. It put a smile on his face as he bobbed and weaved around the hexes his mark threw at him.

And  _ why _ did it have to be South London? He  _ hated _ South London. Sure, it had The Shard (that he'd ridden an enchanted motorbike up the side once to the great distress of the  Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office) , but other than that? South London seemed boring… Well it also had The Globe, he thought. Every so often he liked to venture out there and see a good play. Truthfully he hadn't been around there in ages. He'd grown out of his love of Shakespeare years ago. But then the Globe was  _ sort of  _ historic. He could give it that. He loved history… and mysteries… and history's mysteries. He chuckled to himself as if he'd made an incredibly funny joke, but had to hold back his laughter.

Besides those few things, he hated South London. It seemed to be too  _ safe  _ for him. All nice brick homes that looked identical to its neighbor. Normal families doing normal things. The Doctor enjoyed being kept on his toes, awaiting new challenges, a seemingly unsolvable problem to solve. If he wasn't huffing and puffing from all this running he would have laughed at his thought. A home being too safe… Yes, and this was the person who lived in a flat above his book shop in Diagon Alley. That was the point wasn't it? No one would suspect that the eccentric young man who ran a book shop (a much better shop than Flourish and Blotts in his humble opinion) just so happened to be an operative for UNIT. 

_ One _ person knew, he corrected himself. One infuriating and beautiful man who seemed to make it his mission to blatantly flirt with The Doctor until his cheeks flushed. It always flustered him so. Jack seemed to relish the fact that with words he could unravel his composure.

The darkness of the night was making his task more difficult than it should have been. He couldn't cast a simple  _ Lumos _ because it'd give away the element of surprise if he was illuminated as he went. The outdoor lights that people kept on to ward off intruders should have been enough to guide him in his pursuit. It wasn't as if the man he was after was a speedster or anything. No, he was running at a normal pace for someone who wanted to get away for trapping unsuspecting Muggles in a hotel where Boggarts terrorized them, leading to the death of at least four people. Once the Doctor caught him and handed him over to UNIT, he'd be on his way to to Azkaban, and the Doctor could go back to his book shop. 

The Doctor knew exactly why tonight seemed to be more difficult than usual. It was  _ Jack _ . His mind kept wandering off to think about the Torchwood agent. 

He'd met Jack five years ago when the American popped into his shop looking for a specific book called  _ The Art of Tea Making: Steeped in History _ for his boyfriend. After he helped Jack find the book in question, the man stayed and they had a nice chat about fantastic beasts until Jack realized the time and had to leave over an hour later. The Doctor couldn't help but find the man attractive. He was charming, with a bright and captivating smile. His blue eyes were full of mischief. The man was so dashing and nice. He dressed a bit old fashioned with a World War Two era great coat, nice blue shirt, and slacks. It ticked quite a few of the Doctor's buttons.

He had thought to himself back then: don't get involved, Doctor.  _ Yes _ it's against your nature, you love to insert yourself into people's lives, but don't this  _ one time _ . It'll be more of a complication that you really don't need right now. For  _ once _ in your life just sit back and watch.

He did, quite successfully he might add. True his heart panged a little as he went to bed that night. Jack had seemed like he could be a great friend. Maybe even something  _ more _ one day, if Jack wasn't in a relationship that was. He put his feelings aside, and continued on with his life. But then Jack kept coming back. Week after week he'd stop by at eleven o'clock in the morning on Thursdays (which the Doctor was grateful for because he hated Thursday afternoons and the visit from Jack typically cheered him up so the afternoon wouldn't drag on). 

Time went on and so did life. Three years into their friendship, on a rainy afternoon, Jack mentioned that he and his boyfriend (Ianto, the name brought up unwanted jealousy that he tried to bury deep down) broke up. Mutually, Jack insisted. It wasn't working out as well as he hoped, and they had agreed that they were better off as just friends. However, Jack was morose for two months after he'd told the Doctor about the break up. Sometimes Jack would catch himself when he'd say something like "Ianto said…" or "This one time Ianto and I…" or "Ianto loves…" 

Then one Thursday Jack waltzed into his shop like nothing had ever happened. Jack had changed somehow. He wasn't in a dour mood, a deep frown adorning his face more often than not. He was back to being his normal self, except with a dash of something extra. The Doctor couldn't put his finger on what it was. He'd flirt with the Doctor of course, that was nothing usual. His flirtations were less subtle now. He loved to invade his personal space. Jack would lean in and rest his chin on the Doctor's shoulder to see what he was doing. Their hands brushed so many times that the Doctor couldn't count anymore. 

All of this did have an affect on the Doctor. His feelings for Jack were growing past the initial lust or their deep friendship. It was becoming  _ more _ and even dangerous. He had lovers in the past, but they all left in the end. For better or for worse, but every time it cut deeply that sometimes he thought he'd never be able to mend the broken pieces. The Doctor didn't want to have that happen again, especially with Jack.

Four years into their friendship the Doctor discovered that Jack was an agent for Torchwood. It was the American equivalent of UNIT. A secret agency working outside the Wizarding government that didn't have to answer to them, but did conduct missions for the good of the Ministry of Magic. The Doctor wanted to kick himself in the arse for not seeing it before. It was downright embarrassing that he hadn't figured it in the last few years. He went over and over every spoken word, every gesture, every glance to see if he'd missed any hint that Jack was part of Torchwood. His memory came up with nothing, nothing at all. What sort of agent was he if he couldn't spot something that had been right in front of him for years?

Their friendship didn't change after the discovery. On the contrary, it made their friendship stronger. It was nice to have someone in their line of work to actually talk to about the job. The Doctor didn't have to hold many things back when he talked to Jack about his qualms with UNIT or a particularly exciting job. Jack would in turn tell him outlandish tales, and complain about the idiocy of some of his colleagues who were amateur or abused their power. They had an unspoken agreement not to inform their respective agencies about their dealings, or at least the Doctor  _ hoped _ that Jack wasn't reporting anything he said off the record. The Doctor had to hope, and wait, and cross his fingers that his trust in Jack wouldn't be his downfall.

What was bothering him so much that it was distracting him was what happened two days ago.. 

Why did Jack have to mess things up? Jack was being  _ Jack _ of course… but… Ugh!

(The Doctor didn't want to admit that he was the one at fault.)

"Ow!" the Doctor exclaimed when a spell grazed his shoulder, and singed his beloved coat. Wordlessly, he threw a few offensive spells in rapid fire. He was fairly sure that at least two had hit because the target's movements were beginning to get sluggish.

Suddenly his mark skidded to a stop when he reached an unexpected dead end. The Doctor stopped a few kilometers way, wand raised. He opened his mouth to say a clever line like in those Muggle movies when the good guy cornered the bad guy, when his target did something amazing. The man grew larger… and larger… and larger still. His skin was growing thick fur all over, his feet were transforming into hooves, and a pair of rather impressive antlers sprouted from the top of his head. When he was finished, the mark gave out a loud rawr, and bounded right past the Doctor and in no time at all had hurled himself into a busy street full of tourists. He could hear their screams of alarm and fear, as well as the mark's aggressive grunts.

"A minotaur!" The Doctor exclaimed with child-like excitement. The Doctor couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "An  _ animagus  _ minotaur!" He'd never heard of anyone using a minotaur as their animagus form before. No wonder the target being an animagus hadn't been in the dossier. Now this wasn't so boring anymore!

Quickly the Doctor put his wand in his teeth so he wouldn't poke himself in the eye with one of the ends as he tugged at his bow tie. When he was finished, he took his wand out of his mouth, flipped it into the air, catching it perfectly so the tip of it pointed forward.

He took a deep breath, then shouted, "Geronimo!" He was off to catch himself a minotaur in South London.

  
  


~~~

  
  


The Doctor had been busy looking over an order summary for a delivery that came in late the previous night. He kept losing track of how many copies of Aberforth Dumbledore's autobiography  _ Beards and Beers _ had arrived to the number he needed for stocking the shelves and to give to those who pre-ordered. Jack strolled in like he owned the place. The Doctor grew to recognize Jack's footsteps over the years-- heavy, quick, and somehow had a touch of arrogance. He hadn't bothered looking up to greet his friend. "Hello, Jack," he said casually. His reading glasses slid down his nose and he took a brief second to adjust them. His quill scratched the sheet as he made tick marks along side order numbers.

The footsteps grew slower and halted a few feet away from where the Doctor was sitting in a plush chair. Jack stood there in silence, something he wasn't accustomed to when being in the presence of the man. He was about to ask if something was wrong when Jack finally spoke.

"Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

The Doctor shot his head up, his long styled bangs flying back out of his face. "Excuse me?"

Jack was gazing down at him-- with his infectious grin and hands buried deep in his pockets. The Doctor had learned to read Jack after all their time together. Despite the smile he could see a flicker of doubt.

Jack repeated, "Would you like to go on a date with me?" He cocked his head to the side. "You know… you.. me... A ride on the London Eye? A movie? Maybe some kissing involved if I play my cards right."

Without reigning his emotion in, his temper flared up. "How  _ dare  _ you!"

Jack's composure faltered. "What? What the hell did I do?"

"This was all some sort of game for you, wasn't it?" the Doctor spat. He jumped up from his chair and got in Jack's face. tHis mind was racing with so many possibilites. "Did Torchwood put you up to this? Was I your mark from the beginning? Some into the shop, befriend the lonely operative, and fuck him so he spills all of his secrets?" Jack didn't have to have sex with with him for that to happen. How could have let himself be duped so easily? He'd trusted Jack with everything.

"I'm in love with you!" Jack cried out. "I've been in love with you for years! Can't you see that? You weren't ever some honeypot. Torchwood doesn't know about us at all."

_ I'm in love with you! _

The words circled through the Doctor's head over and over. How? Just… how could Jack love him? There wasn't any way that he could return the Doctor's feelings. He was a walking disaster, a fake, too unsafe to ever be in a relationship again. 

"There's no us anymore, Jack. There  _ can't  _ be."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm done with you, Jack.  _ We're _ done."

"Doc, please--"

"Get out." He pointed to the door. "Get the hell out!"

Jack did just that. His long coat twirled as he crossed the way and slammed the door on his way out without saying a single word.

The Doctor slumped down in his chair and threw the sheets he'd been working on all over the floor. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The shop was silent and the echoes of his words filled the Doctor's ears.

"Fuck."

~~~

  
  


Nine weeks passed without a word from Jack.

At first the Doctor had been seething. He was angry at Jack for being so stupid. He was angry at himself for falling in love with that idiot man.

After a few days the seething, it turned into trying to not feel anything at all. He threw himself into his work. He had rearranged everything in his shop eleven times (his regulars were getting fed up with him) and cleaned the place from top to bottom twice. The Doctor requested as many UNIT assignments as possible. So far he'd completed three, was almost done with the fourth, and there could be a possibility that the fifth would be long term. 

Soon enough everything turned into regret. 

He felt  _ empty _ without the man in his life. The Doctor had grown accustomed to Jack's chaotic presence. He wasn't here, and the Doctor felt  _ alone _ . He hadn't felt this rotten since… since… since… since River had died in front of him. The weeks, months,  _ years _ after he lost her were complete hell. He wallowed in misery, blaming himself for not being faster, not being so arrogant, not being more clever so he wouldn't have been two steps behind her. Maybe if he had she wouldn't have so much as thought about being the hero and sacrificing herself to save everyone. 

He didn't know what to think if losing Jack's company caused him to feel like  _ this _ . It was more than dangerous. In their line of work personal relationships were often frowned upon since they could be used against you. Not that the Doctor had ever followed that rule. 

Yet Jack cared for him, like how the Doctor had always felt. He had fantasized about being with Jack in that way. Being able to palm Jack's cheek, or kiss his forehead, or intertwine their fingers without feeling guilty or selfish. What had he done? He pushed him away. Jack took that chance that the Doctor had been too afraid to take, and he had rejected Jack's advances like a foolish coward. The Doctor was smart, damn smart. Then why did he have a tendency to muck things up?

The Doctor took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He was reading to a group of eager young children for Merlin's sake. He needed to stop for a second and not think how he'd ruined everything. They seemed not to notice the brief interruption. All were delighted as he pulled faces and put  extra flair into his tones and gestures. 

He was on the third to last page of the children's book (Higgins the Hippogriff was about to get a present from Father Christmas), when he looked up to make eye contact with the children when he saw a dull blue coat out of the corner of his eye. The Doctor glanced and saw… Jack. His heart thumped rapidly in his chest. Jack was here. Jack was here in his shop after all of this time. 

There was a weak tug on one his trouser legs. "Mr. Smith, aren't you going to tell us the rest of the story?"

This shook the Doctor out of his trance. "Ah, yes, well. Sorry about that Dylan. Now where were we? Oh yes." He cleared his throat and continued on with the story. "Why do you think your deserve this present, Higgins? You are selfish, prideful, and most of all a very stubborn Hippogriff. The worse behaved I have ever met! Father Christmas asked as he tugged on his long white beard." The Doctor turned the page. "Higgins looked at Father Christmas in astonishment," the Doctor did an over the top gasp. "Why Father Christmas, I gave the little beggar boy in the street one of my feathers so he would fly. I gave the little girl who was sick at St. Mungo's my Chocolate Frog card collection so she would be happy. I helped the lost siblings find their way back to their parents in Diagon Alley."

The Doctor made it a point to say the next words while looking towards Jack. "I'm sorry I was such a fool in the past, but I promise that from this day until my last that I will be wise Hippogriff and show those who deserve it all of my love."

The book ended with Father Christmas presenting Higgins the Hippogriff with a whole sack full of toys. The children cheered and clapped. The Doctor noticed that Jack was clapping as well. 

All of the children ran to their parents and begged for a copy of the book that Mr. Smith had just finished reading. All of the adults took a book from one of the display tables and paid for their purchases and left the shop. Eventually, it was only him and Jack who remained. The Doctor cast a spell with a flick of his wrist to change the open sign to closed and locked the door.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," he softly spoke.

"Neither did I," Jack admitted. "I told Ianto about what happened and got quite a scolding," he chuckled. "Said it was quite unlike me to leave things as we did, and that he'd stop giving me my morning dose of caffeine."

The Doctor furrowed his brow and frowned. The hope that had been building in his chest fluttered downward, but refused to be snuffed out. "You only came back so you'd get coffee?" 

"No, I didn't," Jack insisted. "I came back for my own sanity. I--" He looked up at the ceiling for several beats and then back to the Doctor. "I can't lie to you. I never could. I'm in love with you. I don't think that's going to change. If you want to remain friends, I won't try to let it be anything more. I'll always run after you if you need help. I'll be there. I just need you to know--"

"I'm in love with you, too." The Doctor interrupted. 

Jack's eyes practically bugged out of his head. "You… You do? Then why--"

"I'm known to be an idiot sometimes. If you haven't picked up that by this point. I was afraid of a lot of things and was horrid to you." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "I told myself that ever since River died that I wouldn't---  _ couldn't _ do it again. I couldn't be with someone again." He looked Jack straight in his eyes. "Then he came into my book shop." He took a few steps closer so he was only a couple feet in front of Jack. "Captain Jack Harkness," he said bravely. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

One of the happiest smiles that the Doctor ever seen splashed across Jack's face. "Why Doctor, I never thought you'd ask." Jack pulled him by his suspenders so they were chest to chest. "May I kiss you?"

The Doctor wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders. "Yes, I'd rather like that."

The kiss was slow, gentle. Nothing like how the Doctor imagined kissing Jack would be like. Jack's arms were around his waist, his fingers digging into his lower back. The Doctor couldn't help it and carded his long fingers through Jack's hair, lightly massaging the scalp.

They broke apart far too soon for his liking. His breathing a little harder than usual. He slipped his arms away and rested them by his sides. 

"So Doc," Jack said loudly, his eyes full of mischief once more. "When do you want to go on a date?"

"Does right now work best for you?"

"Right now would be perfect. I know this pub in Cardiff that serves the best fish and chips. They have custard too."

The Doctor chuckled. "That sounds lovely." He straightened his bow tie. "Alright then," he smiled. He linked his arm with Jack. In a split second they disapparated side by side and the next moment were somewhere that the Doctor didn't recognize. 

They headed to the pub without the Doctor knowing where it might be. Jack was animated while ranting about Muggle World War Two era aeroplanes and which ones were better. In turn the Doctor interjected with disagreements and ridiculous theories that Jack always countered.

Maybe the future looked a little brighter, he thought. The Doctor wasn't sure where this road with Jack would lead to, but his heart couldn't contain itself to find out.


End file.
